Awesome hair. Bowl cut. Velour shirt. To be clear, the first comic book I ever remember getting was Detective Comics My Dad bought it for me. It was a Batman story where Joker had the laughing fish. Look at the cover. It scared the crap outta me. Too frightening. Too creepy. Too Joker. So I never read it. So what was the first comic I actually read? Justice League of America My Dad bought me that too. I love you for that, Dad, wherever you are. Look at that cover.
I can still picture the whole issue in my head—especially the big splash page by the legend himself, Dick Dillin. In it, the Justice League were trapped in key-shaped prisons by the villain known as The Key naturally.
In key prisons! And that was BAD! Look at the art right now. At eight years old, this page mesmerized me. Batman v Superman 's Batman is little more than a collection of muscles. The film posits a world in which Superman's existence has thrown human life into chaos. Some people worship him. Some people think he's a necessary evil.
Still others think he's a huge danger to our species. There's a good version of this story where the debate plays out in full, where the moment when the world has no choice but to kill Superman — with a nuclear missile! Batman v Superman is not that film. Metropolis boasts a giant monument to the guy — built just 18 months after the events of Man of Steel! The world's opinion of Superman changes from scene to scene, and seems as barely motivated as a mob of Springfielders on The Simpsons.
And it's not hard to see why. In the few smaller moments where Superman rescues people in scenes shot like Creed album covers , he mostly mopes his way through everything he does. I'd be kind of tired of him too. The deaths in "Nairomi, Africa" seriously an unforgivable dateline are blamed on Superman, because he showed up.
But why? Everybody in that courtyard was demonstrably killed with either a bullet or a bomb — and the government even knows this, beyond the CIA shenanigans happening around the edges. You can probably wave this one away if you really try, but Batman v Superman simply assumes that Superman would be blamed for such an event. I'm not so sure that would be the case. She tells us this, actually: She's there to retrieve the photo Luthor has of her from when she was fighting in World War I.
But later, she says she "left the world of men," presumably to return to wherever she comes from in the DC Cinematic Universe. So why does she need the photo? If she's not hanging out around normal humans, no one who looks at it will know who she is. They might think it weird to see an Amazon in the trenches of World War I, but so long as she stays secluded, she's fine.
Instead, she comes out of isolation to track down the photo? Her appearance would have made more sense if she just randomly showed up to fight the villainous monster Doomsday — and that would have been terrible! First he's just a social climber. Then he hates God because his father was abusive? Later, he wants to be God by creating Doomsday. But we don't learn about Doomsday's existence until awfully late in the plot, and the only reason is seemingly to have Superman perish at the hands of the brute.
Nowhere does Batman v Superman reveal its true roots as Warner Bros. When she's not being held captive as a damsel in distress, Lois Lane uses her powers of journalism to immediately arrive on the scene of wherever she's needed, to the degree that she can throw herself into the middle of Batman and Superman's big fight.
Though at least that entrance is explained: She takes a helicopter. Lois Lane is a great, great character that both of Zack Snyder's Superman films have badly misunderstood. Many have made fun of her line in Batman v Superman , "I'm not a lady. I'm a journalist. Answer this question for me using only the material found in Man of Steel and Batman v Superman. Don't talk about their love story from the comics or from other Superman films.
I'll wait. The film's most mocked moment is already the part where Batman decides not to kill Superman because both of their moms are named Martha. But even if you put aside the sheer ridiculousness of the situation, it leans far too heavily on an abrupt emotional shift.
You can sort of see what everybody was going for: Just as he's about to commit murder, Batman remembers the murders that defined his childhood. But Batman has spent so long fretting about Superman — with at least a somewhat justifiable kernel at the core of his anger — that his sudden change of heart seems bizarre. Why would he immediately become Superman's ally? Even if Batman decided not to kill him, some mistrust would still remain, surely. Opening with, "Lex Luthor is manipulating us into fighting, and he's going to murder my mother if we don't work together.
I can prove it," seems like a stronger strategy than just vaguely declaring, "We need to work together," but what do I know? This is how we get fan theories about how Cars and Wall-E are in the same timeline. This is how I get lost in the implications of Superman and Batman film franchises existing in the Marvel Cinematic Universe and mentally spiral out. Did DC Comics incorporate the Snap into canon?
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